Proposed: The Main Food Groups (for Emergencies)
Every schoolchild has heard about the main food groups: grains, fruits, . . . well, whatever they are. But it occurs to me that, in a pinch, people have pretty well established that there are also some main food groups for emergency situations. Emergencies, in common experience, include receiving a divorce notice, getting a leg pinned under a four-ton boulder, nearly starving to death, and having the wrong person say the wrong thing to you on the wrong day.
In response to these key psychophysiological triggers, the established emergency food groups include the following:
5. Socially approved and/or personally tolerable prescription drugs and controlled substances
Not to belabor the obvious, but to prepare for an emergency, every household should stockpile these important emergency food groups in easily accessible, secure locations. Examples include: under the mattress, in the closet, behind the bookcase, and inside the mislabeled jar.
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Tags: alcohol, caffeine, candy, controlled substances, dessert, emergencies, main food groups